ice.

it is amazing how a simple unrelated things can make me smile.
can calm my burning heart.
ALLAH MAHA KUASA kan?
subhanallah
:').

soon

just like bubbles in the ocean
sometimes too happy of yourself
and sometimes you sit quitely in the corner, without words
beautifully,
beautifully

you're difficult to understand
let them say everything and anything about it
i understand fullly how it should be
just the way it is
beautiful

don't be insecure
cause i couldn't stop time
it'll end sooner
and for the remaining not much time left
let's keep good memories here.

it's ending too soon here in unpad.
and it feels just like yesterday.
still.

I can't remember when it was good
Moments of happiness in bloom
Maybe I just misunderstood
All of the love we left behind
Watching our flash backs intertwine
Memories I will never find
-muse (falling away with you)-

a little something.

i find the need to tell something.

sometimes i cry myself to sleep

i wet my pillow that it left marks the time i woke up

i don't quite use to cry to people, or share with others my problems

yes i am not an open person

i kept too many secrets about myself. that i think it isn't necessary to tell or share with others.

so the next time you see me

i might be smiling and laughing, but last night i might wet my pillow

the time i was in mrsm, i've to share my room with another 3 roomates

so when i faced any problems and suddenly felt like crying

i don't cry in the room. i'm afraid they might see it

and then ask me why, and the fact that i'll cry even louder when being asked such a question

i hate explaining to others why i'm crying because i hate to be looked 'pitiful'.or helpless. or hopeless.

(for i might cry on the simplest thing, i'm afraid to be called as weak)

so what i did was everytime i felt like crying, or huge burden on my shoulder

i went to toilet or shower room and cry so that no one can hear me due to that loud water splashing sound

i can still remeber when they always ask me days back then.
don't you cry? don't you miss your family? are you not homesick?

i always smile without answering. they didn't even know the truth

you can see me being rough

because i hate looking weak

but i am not strong either

i am touched on the simplest thing'

so one day if by any chance you see me cry

don't bother ask me why

because i will heal myself. i'm used to it. He will heal me and take care of the rest

because i don't need symphaty

do me a favour?

don't pity me.

absolute beautiful.

dear Allah

i know the road is long. but make me strong.

i knew i don't get what i want, U gave me what i needed instead:)

U gave me them, i knew this is the strength i need to gain

after all, they are bunch of people U send to me so that learn some lessons

what doesn't kill one only make one stronger right?

ya Allah i pray for calmness and sabr

and happiness and heart full with appreciation
do keep me out from this unhealthy jealousy

and pls grant me healthiness too :)

sometimes it gets so hard for me

probably i see it in wrong point of view

but i never doubt this is the best 

ya Allah my dear Allah

pls content me sabr and purity

pls keep me from my insidious poisonous thinking

i get afraid of myself sometimes.maybe. most of the times.

i may look good and nice outside

but deep inside, i don't even know what kind of monster i am

:')

absolute beautiful. to infinity,

my as if.

as if.
as if i was trying too hard
as if the words are for me
as if i left it all
as if it wasn't a big deal
pretend to careless
it was a big fat lie
i'll continue this lie. until i close properly
burry the remainders;
and blow the ashes
remain in silent.

still giving up or give in is not an option.
never!

ya Allah yang membolak balikkan hati, tetapkan hati ini kukuh teguh di jalanMu.
agar fitrah ini tak menjadi fitnah.
agar hati ini tenang tanpa gundah.

i just want to say alhamdulillah
alhamdulillah.
:')

keep walking.

ya Allah yang membolak balikkan hati, tetapkanlah hatiku di atas jalanMu.

KEEP WALKING.

Every day I get closer to our Meeting.
I feel like I’ve been walking this path for a thousand years
towards You…
and yet I’m still not there.
So close, and yet so far still

But I keep walking,
despite the tears,
despite the wind,
despite the skinned knees and broken bones,
despite the bruises and scars that make this heart what it is today,
I keep walking…
toward You.
There’s only one direction,
one direction:
towards You.
From You, to You.
I have nothing else.
Nothing.
That is my poverty.

I keep walking
because behind every sun’s setting is a rising,
Behind every storm is a Refuge,
Behind every fall is a rise,
Behind every tear is a cleansing of the eyes.
And in every spot you’ve ever been stabbed, is a healing,
and the creation of skin stronger than it was.

I keep walking
because wallahi I have nothing but Your mercy.
I have nothing but Your promise
Your words

-yasmin mogahed-