backagain.

been wanting to come up with something new; as i 've owned new lappy now. sadly, the pre render video wasn't in impressive hd setting. thus, i cn only be happy with 480p after fully rendered of more or less than 20 minutes.

this is a sign of passion ;). don't blame me for wasting time like this. tsk.

again, pls watch in 480p video quality (which means in case u don't know, click on the gear-look at the right bottom of the utube vid, change 480p)-that's the best it can do btw.

one thing, i am never a fan of david archuleta. turns out to be this is the only most suitable bgm for parakiss scene (hiks) i've had in my playlist.    

oh and i found this one lovely fanmade vid. i've already download it-for my personal collections. someday, i'm gonna do something like this. after i fix this rendering issue, perhaps.

till next time.

4th day of posting.

Have u ever got that feeling, of watching two lovelies ;  a woman, as bloom as ever can she be, lying on the bed halfly pushed in front counter, with  next-I’ll-be-going-to-OT attire wrapped on her body, with sweat right on her forehead and those below nose, holding hand  with a man beside her, (likely her other half) waiting to be taken by the nurse in charge to the labour room. The man is whispering sweet something to her ear, with overflowing supports, affections and infinite loves, knowing that her queen will eventually deliver one (or maybe two) precious gem(s) that will definitely, enlighten both of their life. I mean, how sweeter could it be to have someone beside us, someone that is always there, with never ending hopes-giving and support in times of great or worries. Someone that shares their life with us and completes each other world, making it fascinating jaw-dropping rainbow colours days together onwards that others would never have understand.

This is not a damn fairy tale u read in books or the bedside story u often heard when u’re small-that because of the excruciating boredom, u eventually fell asleep. This is not a fiction some famous director created, to feed on hungry love-sick watchers that probably have nothing better to do than spending their time in front of television. Indeed, this is the reality. I saw that very scene in the morning, when it was just my 4^th day in ONG posting (obstetrics & gynaecology). The moment of extradoses diabetes mellitus-inducing glucogenic agent keep flowing in ur circulation, right towards ur head. Unconsciously, u were smiling before u even knew it, watching those bonds that can only be felt after marriage. (Otherwise, it wouldn’t be considered as sweet).

Notes: Ya Allah, pls give me healthiness in both physically & mentally, stronger soul, and determination so that I can always be enthusiastic in this world of giving. Aamin. :')

five or ten years to go.

I made this not-so-long time ago when I still have time to lie around and wandering still. Apparently, I got all blues and melancholy stuff running through my mind and ended up spending times doing this in the middle of the night, with wind blowing breezily right onto my face. I have no idea how it became blurred when I uploaded in utube, so forgave me for that. Perhaps I should learn converting videos to hd for the time being. But if u by chance wish to watch clearer version, skype me anytime!

I just wanted u guys to know deep down inside, even if we denied it, we’re bonded by something extraordinary called… friends.

I love you guys, seriously. J

song by the fray: viena 

latenightjot.

honestly, right now i'm fighting with myself; in which either to write a post, eat instant noodles curry flavour or lay back and relax reading novel-lost for words by lorelei mathias. in the end, here i am, typing unnecessary stuffs, pretending to do a little a bit of thinking when actually what i was doing was staring at the monitor, waiting for the words to flow from the brain.--".

as everyone had already aware, i am currently doing my clinical years, 3 years to go to grad (in sha Allah and aamin-please pray for us btw), clerking patients like all-of-us-know-how attitude and giving the best smile i've ever had to the patients, doctors, nurses as well as hospital staff. of course, sometimes i am at that position too, things you called as at delirious state, not knowing what to do. the awkwardness of being in the middle of everybody who busily doing something. and with white coat hanging on the body and stethoscope wrapped inside the pocket, claimed yourself as medical students but in fact, don't really know what were actually you hv had to do there.

but of course, bit by bit, getting grasp of the whole situation. starting to have clearer point of views of aims and to-do-things. all we have to do is to put ourselves in the humbleness, so that we'll be fully exposed & ready for any knowledge and lessons to be teach by various teachers-no matter who they are. could be they are the doctors, the professors, the nurses, the patients or even the cleaners. we're not gonna go anywhere if we're not willing to drown ourselves in this sea of humbleness. set aside the ego, throw it away somewhere it could never be found, ever again! of course, diligent, determination, respect and PRACTICES do make a lot of differences. knowledge too-as what miss nani always said.

  the last one is a present.to my current vitamin-21 years old chinese guy with sweet smile.LOL:P

and like a petal that's fallen from a dying flower, i fell for you knowing it'd never work out anyways. -ws-

haha.
i just love the quote very much. ignore the last statement. =P

.

over my head

it will be good if i get to walk alone like how i usually did back then when i was still in bandung.

now everything seems far & faded away

there was a time i stood alone at the roundabout somewhere in mulana

thinking how i would miss this moment when it ends

and stand back at the balcony

watching the blue sky with fluffy cotton candy clouds

or sometimes on purpose walking leisurely outside

when it rain

to feel, to hear, and to see the rain

with no worries. without any other else to accompany me

it feels right that way

but not here

i am afraid to walk alone

i feel suffocated, the outside world are cruel and horrible

not saying that there were no crimes at jatinangor

but it feels much safer there

i could go alone and return alone

i could be independent on myself

now i could only stand

beside the windows pane

turning on my most favourite songs on the playlist

withe a cup of tea on the table

looking out right through the window

but still being aware of strangers outside

waiting for the rain

and smiling.

joted.

since i could'nt bring myself to sleep lately, i think it's probably because of i spend too much time sleeping in the evening. and i'm wide awake at night. this is not healthy, technically. and i woke up to find out someone inbox me.

and never once this crossed my mind. anak andy flop poppy msg ak weh. lol. actually, i was the one who sent  message to him first, but as lame as what i wrote, i never thought he actually cared to reply. don't worry, the message wasn't that typical of what girl(s) fan usually came up with, it was more to advices from a sister to her little brother though. :)

guess that's all. oh yeah, here in cheras, it rain almost everyday in the evening, which kind of giving me that soothing feeling enwrapped in calmness and serenity. i really love it the fact that i could look out of the window, and watch the downpouring rain, and sometimes put my palm outside just to feel the beads. it was a definite beautiful. in some points, it reminds me of how it actually felt in bandung, back then. :)

i'm done with too much writing. gotta sahur now. assalamualaikum :)