yesterday.

Terkadang mahu menitis airmata bila terkenang kejahilan semalam.
Terkadang seakan dicarik carik rasa hati bila teringatkan lemahnya iman.
Terkadang jiwa diasak kekesalan bila difikirkan kesalahan demi kesalahan.
Semuanya tentang semalam yang telah berlalu.
Lalu bangunlah wahai jiwa, dan janganlah terus layu.
Agar esok tiada lagi kekesalan seperti hari hari terdahulu. :')
-copied-

Orang yang baik baik ni kan, kalaupun sekadar biasa biasa tapi selalu sukaaaa je nak tengok. Selalu bersih je bila ditenung. Selalu rasa nak intai banyak kali!
Alahaaaaai~
-copied juge-

so true :).
awak sgt comel dear sahabat. semoga berjiran iA di syurga nanti :').

nota hari ini:

1. siapa yang menjaga pandangannya akan diberi kemantapan jiwa - Sayidina Umar Al Khattab.

2. perlu jage ikhtilat! perlu! perlu! perlu!

3. jagela diri dari segala fitnah akhir zaman.

4. hablumininallah comes first and others (dunia) will follow, IA:)

another imperfection.

somehow, i felt like i've been taking for granted for everything that i've received
i've been lost for a moment to dunya in the middle of my findings. 
havent i said habluminallah is the most important of all? *sigh*
sorry if i've been treating any of you like trash. despite the fact that i'm aware of the importance and sweetness of ukhuwwah
i've been taking for granted all the love and appreciation given.
sorry, from the bottom of my heart.


it had been so long since the last time i cried. i missed crying. i cry tonight because i don't hv reason to cry. 
oh my Lord, pls forgive me. 




this imperfection i've potrayed
i'll try to fix it bit by bit. insyaAllah.

like rain.

like rain, it fall and stop. and fall again.

she stand outside the circle

but still she watch inside it

there were laugh and tears.

and it was all.. beautiful. from her eyes.

and then when she didn't even realise

she was hoping

on something that wasn't true

something unclear

she got to put an end into it

but she could just stand outside the circle

she want to move out, farther.

further away from the circle but it was too beautiful that it can barely hurt her eyes.

still, she stand there watching

she spend some times

just to stand there, and watch. and not even a move she took.

there were rains and there was sun

there were winds blowing yet she stay undone

and then she realise she should not just stand outside

either to be in it or just leave it

and when she was comfortable she move into the circle

and then she realise the ugliest fact

in which whether she was there or not it will never make any difference

even if she was inside,

nor outside

it will always stay the same. 

she wasn't hurt yet she felt relieved

somehow the ugliest fact was the most beautiful path she gain 

knowing she should know it long time ago

the ugliest fact that kept her smiling

thinking how it should be done long before

and after all 

it was just like rain

it fall down.

sometimes too heavy that get one heart's cold

sometimes those downpour falling beautifully, bring calms & serene

and at one time.

 it will stop falling.

and probably will fall again. when the time meet.

understand.

so why don't we go

somewhere only we know?

impending doom.

how could i put this in words. it is still 'disenchanted'.
today wasn't really a good day but there is always something good in everyday
the thing is i couldn't escape from this littleless mind thinking
how i wish i could think things lightly and takes everything as one phase of my life that will happen. and go. and repeat.
and everybody did feel it. not just me.
how i thought it was awesome when they can just forget and move on
say, i can move on but right now, this littleless thing has been bugging off my mind
at least for some 1-2 days.
some said it is because i have higher. higher expectation on myself.
i don't think it is wrong, since i'll work harder to achieve something
just that things are getting a little bit messy when i've this excessive overthinking

imagine there is a dark cloud on top of your head right now. that is how i feel.

it's like when things aren't going as what i've planned, eventhough i gave my all to it

i can't help myself from my own feelings. the feeling of impending doom (if you know what i mean)

it's not that i don't accept. i just kept thinking about it over and over again

and i get tired of myself thinking about such a little insignificant thing

i have this problem of exagerrating something so small

and things get heavier inside my head

when i was writing these, i've already got the answer, bright & clear

i was way too far from Him, for i've made smaller dunya things a big deal in my heart

which is actually a no-no thing(s) to do

so for the dark cloud on top of my head

the answer lies on Him.

with Him, anything is possible. 

i might fail to chase away the dark cloud on top pf my head,

but i might use an umbrella to protect myself from it and also, change my point of view when looking at it. 

shape of my heart.

past two. blues-in-the-valley.

what was on the look isn't the same as what's inside.
i've already knew expectation kills. most. of. the. time.
i just wish it to be different.
i thought it was going to be different.
and all along the way i knew expectation(s) kill. 
i've thought  a bit too far.
and i brought myself to hear this song . on and off.  too and fro. 
back and forth. 

you're just a sad song
with nothing to say
about  a life long
wait for a hospital stay
well if you think that i'm wrong
this never meant nothing to you.
(mcr-disenchanted)

disenchanted

.


 though i din't really know what gerard wants to deliver from his song, i interpret it as mine. and it suits you.

so this is for you.