sky fall.

malam ke 24 ramadhan
tarawikh pertama selepas peperiksaan di kampung
itu kali pertama aku mendengar bacaannya
di saat dia mengimamkan tarawikh di kampungku
ku agak waktu itu umurnya belasan tahun atau mungkin di sekolah menengah 
penuh rasa ingin tahu, esoknya ak bertanya kepda teman sekampungku
kami sebaya tetapi dia lebih tahu tentang selok belok kampung 
"oh itu mungkin anak pak YXXX, seorang hafiz al Quran, umur baru 20 tahun rasanya,"

malam itu
tarawikh cuma 8, selebihnya disambung khatam al Quran
usai majlis itu, langkah kaki ku orak laju keluar dari masjid
saat itu benar-benar imam muda itu melintasi 10 langkah jarak dariku 
dia berpaling sekilas, aku memandangnya tepat
sayang, aku masih tidak dapat melihat wajahnya yang sebenar kerana silau mata

malam tadi
seperti biasa dia masih mengimamkan tarawikh di kampungku
malam ini malam terakhir tarawikh sebelum raya
lantas aku memecah kebiasaan
rakaat terakhir, sempat ak menyelit satu doa
yang ku kira biarlah rahsia
kakak sudah di rumah lantas kakiku laju melangkah mendapatkan motor usai solat
sebelah tangan memegang kain telekung, sebelah lagi kunci motor

lansung tak terbayang dek akalku
tiba di simpang surau, benar-benar imam muda dari bahagian lelaki
melintas di laluan perempuan, ku kira ingin ke tandas mungkin
oleh kerana terkejut dan agak segan, aku masih belum mampu melihat wajahnya
aku cuma mengenalinya kerana jubah coklat muda separa buku lali yang selalu menjadi pakaiannya tiap kali terawikh
dan jalannya yang sentiasa tertunduk, separa membongkok
yang ku lihat dari balik tirai birujarang bahagian perempuan setiap kali dia ingin mengangkat takbirnya

enjin motor ku hidupkan, sengaja aku tunggu di atas motor 
dengan harapan imam muda itu akan melintas lagi
ini mungkin peluang terakhir untuk melihat wajahnya sehingga ramadhan tahun hadapan
sebab selepas ini kalau kami berselisih bahu di kampung pun mana mungkin aku dapat mengenalinya
tanpa jubah coklat kebiasaannya dan lebai putih membalut kepala
dan seperti yang aku harapkan, dia berjalan laju beberapa meter dariku
masih tertunduk dan menunduk
menjaga pandangan mungkin
dan masih, hanya bahagian tepi wajahnya dapat aku lihat
imam muda itu melangkah laju keluar dari pagar masjid, pulang ke rumah
aku pula, memulas laju enjin motor ke laluan yang berbeza

dalam pulangku aku tersenyum 
imam muda itu berjaya membuka catatan lembaran baru dalam hidupku.

final.

final's over.
but literally it doesn't. could feel my heart skipped a beat this coming friday when our anticipated result will finally come out.
still, there's this one posting i literally should go through in certain.
and for the coming years, i still hv to go thru that one particular postg again.
yeap, read me. it'S O&G
and that's for sure.
internal medicine and community medicine, i really hoped we have done the best we could do and it's enough. u'll never know until it's been written black and white on paper.
until then, u live in the world full of questions but without a fixed answer.
there's always something unanswered lingering through ur days until that very time.
and the best thing we could do now, are both dua and tawakkal.
may He make it easy for us and we finally step on 4th year and the last year without problem, without having ourselves to repeat any of the postings. may we passed with flying colours for all the posting(s) that left. Amin.

and here i am. still in the front of same old window pane.
nobody's home. the last person left several hours ago. 
i'd always enjoyed the feeling of being with myself and no one else. i can feel contented of being alone, without having to care about anyone or anything else.
well that doesn't mean i dislike company. it's just that this moment means a lot for people who really can see on the other site.
listening to my favorite mellow jam, and sometimes even pluck the string just to get into the mood.
and literally, u know u are never alone
there's always Him.

really need ur dua too, guys. pls pray for us.
thanks for every good words given.

miserable.

the fact that i go through my day and felt heavy hearted over certain situation;

i really deserve a good slap right on my face

somebody could u hit me so hard that i will overlooked all the unimportant things

and started to prioritize what should be top on the list

and discard away all the unimportant what not

.and then i ended up writing here, thinking of tomorrow where i'll be cycling early in the morning, with good tracks stuff in both of my ears;
well that doesn't rhyme, at least it makes me happy :)
join me, what says you?

scarves on.

assalamualaikum. not to mention in the hope of everybody is aware of it, ramadhan is just around the corner. i was doing some reading thruout facebook homepage, when one of my friend came out with this.


http://nailahatiqah.blogspot.com/2014/05/scarves-on-beginning.html?spref=fb

personally, i thought it was a brilliant fresh idea. there are lots of hijabs i hv had in my closet, some of it are still brand new, yet i did not wear it much. there are only certain hijabs i usually wear, and most of it are syrias. so if i could give it to people who need it the most, i will be more than satisfied. just imagine, if u donate ur hijabs, and somebody wear it, the prices are countless. it was beautiful too, to have someone u never knew, related in the bond of 'islam' wearing something u previously owned. isn't it? i was once an active blogger,  i wondered how i've never came out with ideas like this though. --"

lets just cut it short. so if u guys wanted to join, donate ur hijabs, just click here for more informations.

spread the love everyone and donate ur hijabs dear hijabees..salam ramadhan.

wild flower

i found this sooo hardd to erase. both the songs and the mv. at the end of the song, it's like something was left untold, something so deep that lingers at the very deep of your heart, intertwined with fated misunderstanding, unresolved yet unerased, even when time pass by ; literally so much time pass by.

melancholic much? well, it's just me in the middle of the night.

illa : white flower that reminds you of your first love -juniel-

to my mother and all moms' in the world :)

saying words i love you
is not the words i want to hear from you.

just a recap
and btw u'd shown me more than enough how gigantic ur love is. so this song just don't fit but somehow it rings  a bell somewhere. hee. it's just a lame-o thought of mine.

i love you very much mak. 
there's no word that could describe how much i love u. 
may Allah granted you & us jannah :') 

 love, 
nadwa.

lol

the awkward moment when u literally add somebody in facebook
just to find out he/she's online but did not approve your request
lol
i'll never do this again --"
thiss is too much of embarassment for mankind.