me and language

assalamualaikum.

hi. it's been long. yeah, i knew.  here's  the thing, i recently read some random comment in facebook on something that is quite familiar to all of us. this particular comment, was written by a random lady who intrigued my inner sense to find more about her, surprisingly. to be honest, there's nothing ridiculously enlightening about the comment. she didn't even receive heap of likes whatsoever from the readers but for some reasons, I am so fascinated by the way she put in her words. it's merely random comment you will come across it, scan through it lightly and scroll down without hesitance, nonchalantly. but not for me. i stopped, paused, and read it over and over again. read it as if i'm scrutinizing my unthinkable next few words or idioms i'm gonna use in my so called poem. hence, i stalked her. i was so lucky she didn't private her facebook account. well, who doesn't nowadays, right? the next few minutes were spent on reading all her comments lightly, mostly from her recent post. and i could say the words she typed in were so natural, so smooth that it falls and lie next to each other, forming a solid sentence perfectly. i figured i was way behind her, not even close. i wasn't on par with her in terms of language considering i did struggle in constructing sentence at some point or another. in fact, at this age, i still need to refer my work to the expertise, per se. by expertise, i meant my sister and brother who obviously way better than me in number of areas. i still have my doubt and i needed some english grammar freak to help me out. frankly speaking, i was a little bit jealous of them in terms of their command in english. they didn't even work that hard, but their talents were exceptional.  i remembered reading my brother's journal when he was still in boarding school, his words are cemented inside my brain. (okay that wasn't true, no way i would remember such unless it holds a different meaning that touched my heart). but i wasn't joking. no wonder he's an english debator at a very young age. he even made it to new straits time newspaper when he was only 12-ish. it may seems a bit negative on my side, but please take it in an easy way.

on a different note,  this doesn't downgraded me at all despite knowing I have tremendous work to catch up just to be on par with them in the future. wish me luck, im working my ass off for it albeit in a chill way. :)