a little something.

i find the need to tell something.

sometimes i cry myself to sleep

i wet my pillow that it left marks the time i woke up

i don't quite use to cry to people, or share with others my problems

yes i am not an open person

i kept too many secrets about myself. that i think it isn't necessary to tell or share with others.

so the next time you see me

i might be smiling and laughing, but last night i might wet my pillow

the time i was in mrsm, i've to share my room with another 3 roomates

so when i faced any problems and suddenly felt like crying

i don't cry in the room. i'm afraid they might see it

and then ask me why, and the fact that i'll cry even louder when being asked such a question

i hate explaining to others why i'm crying because i hate to be looked 'pitiful'.or helpless. or hopeless.

(for i might cry on the simplest thing, i'm afraid to be called as weak)

so what i did was everytime i felt like crying, or huge burden on my shoulder

i went to toilet or shower room and cry so that no one can hear me due to that loud water splashing sound

i can still remeber when they always ask me days back then.
don't you cry? don't you miss your family? are you not homesick?

i always smile without answering. they didn't even know the truth

you can see me being rough

because i hate looking weak

but i am not strong either

i am touched on the simplest thing'

so one day if by any chance you see me cry

don't bother ask me why

because i will heal myself. i'm used to it. He will heal me and take care of the rest

because i don't need symphaty

do me a favour?

don't pity me.