random subh thought#

sometimes. yes sometimes.
when there's nothing happen in your life
u're not happy nor sad
you feel rather..
empty
                                                                               Stop letting it own you.
                                                                               Let it go.
                                                                               Let it go for Him and He will honor you.
                                                                               He will raise you.

that is when you know u're lacking of rohaniah food inside
u've become less self motivated
and far.

and that doesn't even make u happier.

it's because you have been looking up so much
look upon those things that others get but u don't
keep whining, and hurting your timid heart

                                                                            Names. We’re always looking for names.
                                                                            We try to name all of it.
                                                                            We think that if only we could name each chain,
                                                                            they would all break.dear me, you shouldn't
look down, all below you
you've receive too much from Him compare to them
theres many dying to be in your position. your state. your condition.

                                                                            Maybe I need to live between.
                                                                            Between the words, the heart,
                                                                            the space between earth and sky.
                                                                            Maybe I could live there.
                                                                            In the space between knowledge and understanding.
                                                                            Between love and letting go.

                                                                            In the place where it stops hurting to be so far away.

there's a friend of mine he once said,
"kadang2 aku nak setiap hari aku kecewa supaya tiap2 hari aku dpt hadir dlm setiap solatku dan mengingatiNya".
and i wasn't as strong as him.

                      He said, “She feels like a habit I’ll never break.”
                         Break.
                      Break, so you can break.
                                   The strong fall so they can stand.
                          Fall.
like i said before. i need to just let go of those unimportant thing.
it's because i need 'dunya' too much that certain 'dunya' things are witheld from me-YM
i just need to learn to need Him, and only Him
i just need to care less.

                                                                                                   There’s salvation in admitting defeat.
                                                                                                The peace of prostration.
                                                                                              Just stay still in that position,
                                                                                             With your head lowered.
                                                                                           Freeze.
                                                                                         Wait.
                                                                                       Stay humbled.
                                                                                      Wait.
                                                                              Stay lowered.
                                            Until He raises you.

well that's what i felt right now.

pst: the piece of wordsof red is from yasmin mogahed nameless. such a beautiful yet powerful words. :)
      happy thursday everybody. mayy ALLAH bless.

some sort of thingys suddenly pop up in ur head u just go with the flow.

assalamualaikum. lol. i ended up spending about 1-2 hours and come out with this song and then i quickly find the lyric. & voila.

hoho. i accidentally played free chords and found some interesting piece to be put together with the same plucking-tapping method i previously played random with syera's singing. lol. :D

so i decided to share this. (puahaha)

intro & verse
c em f g

korus
bm e c#m fm
bm e c#m fm em...

verse & bridge
c em f g

(pluck)
c em f g end with c :)

here goes the lyrics.

1st verse

there's nothing more that i could say
to hide my flaws in front of you
though i'll hide and i've running through
i ended up stuck in between you

chorus
one thing i want to keep from u
and others won't define it too
if anytime you found out the truth
just pretend and forget it all

verse 2
though i really hope time flies fast
and i'll stop bothered anymore 
but let's say if past has been the past
the only thing left is memories..

bridge
and (those) time will pass by fast
and i will only smile
it is only history
set away my agony

someday it healed -end-

this may sound so immature and plain and innocently pure. teehee. but personally i like it. lol. gotta finish some task. done with playing. night & assalamualaikum ;)

too beautiful to let go.

assalamualaikum. may peace be upon u. :)

teehee. actually i've only return home after spending 3 hours at laptop service shop. somewhere at jatinangor. honestly, it was quite wasteful to wait for 3 hours & do nothing. luckily, i brought with me a book authored by Salim A. fillah, 'agar bidadari cemburu padamu'. and then after the long 3 hours has passed, alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, my lappy can be use again, good as new. :D

nahh. i wasn't going to tell u about this. i want to share with u this song. it was a beautiful song, and meaningful and deep. and i love it.

i spend most of my time in 'angkot' hearing this. it's suited my heart perfectly as i am all alone, and there is no one beside me. and i was looking outside of the angkot window. i was looking up as the angkot continue going forward. the cloud was a bit dark and rain started pouring down. wind was blowing sweetly on my face. and the calmness i felt was priceless. all i can say it was beautiful, too beautiful. :').

terbayang ga? indah kan!

kesekian kali 
kini ku berdiri
tulus hati di hadapanmu
masih terus merayu
dengarkan aku

jalan yang berliku
sepanjang hayatmu
aku juga merasainya
lantas aku mengerti
dan memahami

lihatlah ke dalam hatimu
percikan cahaya yang akan membara
menjadi penerang segala yang di depanmu

lihatlah jua ke hatiku
akulah temanmu
terimalah aku
kitakan bersama mengharung dunia fana ini...

kesekian kali 
ku ulangi lagi
tidak kan pudar keyakinanku
yang kau akan berdiri atas kemucak
tinggi..

pst : i want to dedicate this song to everybody, expecially to all my friends. no matter where we are, i pray to Allah everyday that when the time come, we'll meet again at jannah. subhanallah :').

k.h.i

i've been dragged down and i fall. i put on my courage and get up. i've been dragged again and i felt down, deeper. i woke up slowly and i try making some steps. i fall again.
yes it was painful
yes i was badly injured.
but i believe there'll be hikmah behind. i'll get the big picture after.

:'). but for now and forever, alhamdulillah.

chaos.

yeah. i'll tell ya. it is a big challenge for me. i feel rather awkward. for every movements & every talk & every stare. personally i do think this is a good starting point. to stop what hasn't been built, for turning over a new leaf, to wash away all these inappropriate thinking. i asked somebody 'did my face change?'. cause i felt deep inside it was chaotic, it's like all my facial muscles are aching and tingling as i curving a smile. i knew there are something good in every day. to count the blessings are countless'. i knew what i probably said wasn't even a challenge for some ppl. it is just one phase of life that when you meet with it, you hv to bear with it. i knew this long before. i wasn't as tough as one could think of. i am weak & fragile. oh Allah. let me not take this as things that will stop me, or trying to be something i don't wanna be. this is a test, i should have passed it easily. haven't i said i'll look more than anythingelse upon habluminallah compare to habluminannas (if i've to choose)?.yeah. i am deeply ashamed, how am i suppose to think of these as big when my brothers and sisters in rohingya, syria, gaza in fact anywhere are being killed, raped and bombed up? astaghfirullahaladzim.

i'm not sure if this is the hormones problem or anything.oh Allah forgive me for all this insignificant thinking. make me stronger so that i could leave insignificant things that i shouldn't be concern of behind. put on a better calming smile on my face. help me, guide me, guard me on my journey so that everyday i'm turning into a better muslimah. ameen.

‘From the good manners of Islam is to  

leave that which does not concern him.’ 

[Al-Tirmidhi] 

rubbish.

this has to stop.
my feeling my hatred & my expectation.
i think i'm standing on the red line.

oh i feel like crying.

hijrah.

it had been so long since my last time writing here.
it is maal hijrah today.
salam maal hijrah^^.

azam tahun baru ni nak lebih byk mengamalkan sunnah Rasulullah yg simple2 mcm minum madu, bersugi & sebaginye. yosshhh. gambatte ne~ :)