last farewell

to leave bandung forever
to leave and not returning back, probably
to find out my journey here has come to an end
make it so hard not to tear

i knew the road ahead is still far away
i got long way to go
we got long way to go
but somehow part of me will always include
the beautiful bittersweet bandung memoirs
and in my story
there'll always be them
and those faces
and those moments
those things that makes me smile unintentionally

and as we wave our long goodbye
and not looking at each other eyes
i wonder if anything will change between us all
or will it stay the same
will it?

they say don't grieve at parting
so i wouldn't
but even if time pass by
and i finally see those smile again
the time here will never fade in my mind.

kav 42 mulana.4.00am WIB.27 april 2013

so if it's going to be beautiful, how beautiful will it be?

a little note

i'll be sitting for GUS remedial the day after tomorrow. i discussed it with several doctors. i just highlight what i heard from one of the noble dr i've known; dr Ike. one lovely strong hearted women, whom right now living with only one kidney:'). she advised me to sit for remedial exam MDE with good soca marks. but she pointed out that it doesn't mean i shouldn't take exam with poor soca marks, it's just that the chances to increase my grade is harder and smaller. i'm kind of dissapointed since i didn't do quite well in GUS but my soca wasn't that good as well. (i got C+ for GUS). in the end, i put one tick in RESP system remedial exam. 

going home, i think much. i take a good look in my marks and do some counting. and then i ended up texting doc tina. my friend did help me a lot, support me in everything i do. 

and there go my decision.

"doc bisa ga saya nambah subjek?" 

a replied came, fast. "bisa. mau nambah apa?"

my face brighten. i was delighted to hear how pleased doc tina was, hearing such from me. 

"mau nambah GUS dan PHOP 6 doc. :) makasih doc"

i did that not because i'm not satisfied, nor i want to increase my pointer so badly. it is just because of my own satisfaction. at the very least, i've given my best, isn't it. yang lain2 tu belakang kira, semua urusan Dia kan? i'm the only one who sit for phop 6. LOL. 

and alhamdulillah, it is still fresh in my mind the time my face turn white my hands cold and shaky knowing the soca result will burden my mde marks during judicium 1. and beautifully,  He has planned everything unexpectedly perfect that keep me smiling the whole day and felt grateful no words can describe much. :') 
thank you Allah. <3.

my dear, He planned everything perfectly. so don't be insecure, don't worry to much, In Sha Allah He will ease everything you'll never know. just don't forget to keep your dua since that is our strongest weapon and work hard as well. you'll always get my dua :).

because the big picture will only be shown after some time :)

the chronology.

last night we slept together. all because of fear. and at least to keep ourselves safe when we were togeteher. we did invite 2 other friends to accompany us, for at the very least we thought that the more the safer. it was all started with some weird looking man wearing blue and grey hoodie peeked through my housemate windows, and to the worst he did not bother to run eventhough she shouted at him. only after others went downstairs noticing the shout, then only he ran.

so we lived yesterday wrapped in fear and worried. we did came to solutions : all of us need to separate to other houses because staying together in this 'target house' is not the best way to solve this problem. my heart felt heavy for that, but because our safetyness is being jeopardized,  i had no other choices than to agree. then last night we slept together. frankly speaking, i kind of love that kind of thing because as a matter of fact,  i thought it was cute much to sleep together, and sharing beds (only 4 beds for 7 people). although we had to shrink our body to fit in, and not moving much because of the small beds, but i could say i enjoyed it. weird kan?and we watched thriller together too.

actually i couldn't sleep well last night. my body kept tossing left and right, and sleeping in the middle surely quite hard. i'm stucked in between juju and serry. --". i tried my best not to move much, because i'm afraid they might woke up because of me. there were several of times i'm awaked because i heard some sound. maybe it was just my feeling, but to be exact i am actually quite paranoid in this kind of thingys. did u knew that, before, i've called police just because i heard strange sound and something pushing my door? TURN OUT TO BE IT IS MY FATHER. felt i'm gonna die in embarassment when the police came to our house.
--"

and this morning. alhamdullilah. the thief has been captured by the satpam and also the villagers. i was busy playing wedding dash in the room when juju shouted "korang, maling semalam da kene tangkap!". quickly, i came out to see,and my friend confirmed he is the same person whom peek thru the window yesterday. and he is wearing the same hoodie today. frankly, i felt touched looking at the maling, his face was covered with blood. there were blood splattered all over the floor too. both of his hand were tied behind and he looked down, sadly. i heard he kept whispering Allah.. Allah.. when the villagers hit him. one of the man wearing orange, stand proudly beside him, using long stick to move his body, making him looked like a cat or anything i couldn't say, that tears me up. i turned my head, could not afford to see this anymore. not long after that, police came. and carry the villain, put him at the back, made his face shown to others. i stood there in disbelief. i took out my handphone to take some photographs and at the same time the police car drove in front of me, i could see clearly his wounded red face and tears rolling down from his eyes. for the second time, that broke my heart.

knew i shouldn't be some kind of weaklings over this matter but i did pity him. let's just pray he'll be given hidayah by the Almighty, and he'll lead a better life after.

"everybody deserves a second chance" -kevin crawford-

holiday.

it is 12.20 am in my clock.i've just returned from bandung about half an hour before. actually to be exact it is 11.20 pm now. i still haven't change my laptop time.

i went to pvj right after finishing my zuhr prayer with some other friends. we took arnes and reached PVJ one hour and half later. we ate at quali and because i was soooo hungry, and the nasi there was superb, i didn't even bother to talk. and as usual i finished my dishes first. it was yummy though. i ordered nasi tim ayam kungpao. don't even know what 'kungpao' stands for but from the display picturein the menu bar, it looked good, and it did! :). gonna go there some other time, maybe. then we went to jonas photo. those all black and white big frames were so tempting that i went to jonas two times. but the price wasn't that worth it. so i ended up buying a simple-cheap-but-still-cute-to-look-at frame which costed me around 5k each. because the primary aim was to search for dinner gifts, and since we decided to buy frames for the beloved doctors, and the frames weren't enought at PVJ Jonas photo, we went to istana plaza instead. alhamdulillah, we managed to get 19 beautiful frames with affordable cost-saving price for the doctors.

finishing my task, i walk around some more. there was a cute shop upstairs, i can't remember the name but it was full with various frame's backgrounds, all come in different patterns and colours. actually mell is the one who told me about that shop. lovely. i bought one for myself, and some i shared with maya for others, as birthday gifts. i always love to do something with efforts rather than buying  a costly gift. :). maybe because i prefer something that i get with efforts even if it is just a simple paper with some handwriting of du'a,bubly hearts and cute wishes. jiwang kan? then i went to bread talk. bought some delicious muffins and  breads to fill my stomach. and also to one of my dearest friend. she's having exam tomorrow. all the best dear. <3

lastly i stopped and spent the rest of my time at j.co. having some coffee float uno which cost around 31k per cup. it was refreshing but maybe i'll buy something cheaper next time. --". *kedekut* we took a seat beside the window, so that i can see the lively night outside.

and then it was time to say goodbye. we took different angkot several of times. we walked along the fly over *scary* to get to baltos so that we can took arnes and headed home.it was a long way that i kept reciting ayat qursi. the cars were fast and we went thru the same direction as the cars.bahaye kot. luckily i wasn't the one behind. there was one time i crossed the road running when the car drove quite fast from the other side. i swallowed down my saliva realising i could get hurt doing that. they told me so. alhamdullillah i am saved. tq Allah:).

we reached baltos and not a long time after that, the big van that supposed to take us to jatinangor arrived. i choosed a seat beside the window. the whole journey i kept listening to coldplay songs. actually the whole playlists were coldplay songs. i didn't even sleep although i can feel my body all aching up.

that's all.gotta sleep early. tomorrow i'll be going to jakarta with others.

till then. assalamualaikum.