but today, it seems different, and i would like to talk much more leisurely but in deeper thought of mine. ok seems that sometimes, i am this kind of sarcasm girl, in which ( read this several of time) i didn't really enjoy being that particular kid. like what dr muna said, womens sometimes enjoy 'snapping' on others. they tend to find others mistakes as if there were rewards on that. (ouchhh-_-").. basically, or truthfully, i didn't really want to become such but maybe because of lack abstinence and my boldness, i've been lletting myself to be drag into certain point at certain degree in that particular situation. it's not like i'm giving excuses or sort, but currently i'm working on it. i tried to talk much more softer,i didn't even know or care if others realise this, but actually i do work even in a simplest way. however, humans are still human. more or less there will definitely be obstacles made up by human itself, and as for me, i couldn't boldly say i didn't care much on that. although i repeated to myslef several of times, everyday, that we live here, breathing and for what we've been doing are to be judged by the one and only, Rabbul Izzati. still, despite the fact knowing that, why do i worry so much on others judgement? -_-.
maybe, or postively maybe, i'm lacking of taqwa.
u see like this.
TAQWA= REALISE + SELF CONTROL
and perhaps, i have this 'realise' thing but still not powerful enough to control myself from doing such. but at least, i'm working on it.
still, i couldn't understand why certain people need to be harsh when others are trying to be good on them. u see what i mean? my point is, me myself, i definitely admit that i'm lacking here and there, and everywhere, still struggling in this life here after, finding and searching myself and who i would wanna be. lemme give an example, when others are talking politely to you, why is that u have to respond to it harshly and stiff while others are giving all out just to be nice, polite and soft? -_-". i mean, it's kind of tough to accept such thing. i knew the fact humans are always unfair, so don't bother to hope on them but can't you at least open up ur mind and struggle with me for a better life and world?
maybe. oh maybe. i am that kind of person before. always done such thing and still hasn't realised until now. and when others are doing it to you, now that u know how painful it is to live ur life without manners, in both way, either you without manners or surrounding ppl whom lack of manners.
i'm sorry and pls don't butthurt anywhere , i obviously didn't want to pin point anybody and this is random, and of course the closest ppl who wrote is the one who should reflect what have been written the most. :)
just that if we can nurture in our heart, the eagerity to change and making improvements, it would be so much better for this world and hereafter.
as for me, i want to be that kind of perfume, so i tried to befriends with ppl whom hv that kind of scent and indirectly, i want to spread this perfume of mine or others to the world, so that ppl will share the perfumes, together.
Allahu Rabbi, may this will never be 'fitnah' to me and bring good to others. amin.
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