mist.and.goodbye

i never thought things are true
i've took my words lightly
i said it with smile and laughter
yes, those things sometimes bothered me
but i've decided not to care

then today i saw it all
it crushes me in & out, even right now
i was startled for a while

i couldn't even remember all my dream
and thoughts
it washed away like an ocean wave wash the shore

i know it wasn't going to end up the way i want
maybe He want me to stop all this thinking
it would take some times
but i promised i'll get through it
after all sissy did say it's going to break me
and it did.

this is it. this time i finally let go.

lp everywhere

i was just too in love with those :P 

lost in the echo

i don't back up, i don't back down
i don't fold up, and i don't bow
i don't roll over, don't know how
i don't care where the enemies are
can't be stopped
all i know, GO HARD!
 

random subh thought 2#

hey i just thought i wanna write this, because it suddenly appeared in my mind. when i heard this song-for the first time (the script).. xkait lansung.=="

before, mum once told me after i was born into our family, they've actually agreed to name me 'fataina amira'. (thought probably i'm gonna get beautiful eyes with those name.. lolXD).  then when that name was about to be established, bapak disapproved. he said that the name is too 'soft' and common. he's afraid i'll ended up being a weakling, non independent, 'excessively soft-hearted' girl. so he changed my name to 'nadwa aqeela'.

now that i think about it, there was one time during my school days, probably during my standard 1or 2 (can't remember exactly when is when),  i really dislike this name. thought it was weird, and i always admire and envy of my sister name, nurin hanani. (still think it was beautiful though. --"). but as i grew up, i learn that this name fit me the most, it was quite a different name and i honestly like it so much.

thank you bapak for changing it..:')

'lol. can't imagine ppl calling me aina or amira..) hehe. till then. .looking forward to this bright new day. ;-).

happy jumuah. may Allah bless.

random subh thought#

sometimes. yes sometimes.
when there's nothing happen in your life
u're not happy nor sad
you feel rather..
empty
                                                                               Stop letting it own you.
                                                                               Let it go.
                                                                               Let it go for Him and He will honor you.
                                                                               He will raise you.

that is when you know u're lacking of rohaniah food inside
u've become less self motivated
and far.

and that doesn't even make u happier.

it's because you have been looking up so much
look upon those things that others get but u don't
keep whining, and hurting your timid heart

                                                                            Names. We’re always looking for names.
                                                                            We try to name all of it.
                                                                            We think that if only we could name each chain,
                                                                            they would all break.dear me, you shouldn't
look down, all below you
you've receive too much from Him compare to them
theres many dying to be in your position. your state. your condition.

                                                                            Maybe I need to live between.
                                                                            Between the words, the heart,
                                                                            the space between earth and sky.
                                                                            Maybe I could live there.
                                                                            In the space between knowledge and understanding.
                                                                            Between love and letting go.

                                                                            In the place where it stops hurting to be so far away.

there's a friend of mine he once said,
"kadang2 aku nak setiap hari aku kecewa supaya tiap2 hari aku dpt hadir dlm setiap solatku dan mengingatiNya".
and i wasn't as strong as him.

                      He said, “She feels like a habit I’ll never break.”
                         Break.
                      Break, so you can break.
                                   The strong fall so they can stand.
                          Fall.
like i said before. i need to just let go of those unimportant thing.
it's because i need 'dunya' too much that certain 'dunya' things are witheld from me-YM
i just need to learn to need Him, and only Him
i just need to care less.

                                                                                                   There’s salvation in admitting defeat.
                                                                                                The peace of prostration.
                                                                                              Just stay still in that position,
                                                                                             With your head lowered.
                                                                                           Freeze.
                                                                                         Wait.
                                                                                       Stay humbled.
                                                                                      Wait.
                                                                              Stay lowered.
                                            Until He raises you.

well that's what i felt right now.

pst: the piece of wordsof red is from yasmin mogahed nameless. such a beautiful yet powerful words. :)
      happy thursday everybody. mayy ALLAH bless.

some sort of thingys suddenly pop up in ur head u just go with the flow.

assalamualaikum. lol. i ended up spending about 1-2 hours and come out with this song and then i quickly find the lyric. & voila.

hoho. i accidentally played free chords and found some interesting piece to be put together with the same plucking-tapping method i previously played random with syera's singing. lol. :D

so i decided to share this. (puahaha)

intro & verse
c em f g

korus
bm e c#m fm
bm e c#m fm em...

verse & bridge
c em f g

(pluck)
c em f g end with c :)

here goes the lyrics.

1st verse

there's nothing more that i could say
to hide my flaws in front of you
though i'll hide and i've running through
i ended up stuck in between you

chorus
one thing i want to keep from u
and others won't define it too
if anytime you found out the truth
just pretend and forget it all

verse 2
though i really hope time flies fast
and i'll stop bothered anymore 
but let's say if past has been the past
the only thing left is memories..

bridge
and (those) time will pass by fast
and i will only smile
it is only history
set away my agony

someday it healed -end-

this may sound so immature and plain and innocently pure. teehee. but personally i like it. lol. gotta finish some task. done with playing. night & assalamualaikum ;)

too beautiful to let go.

assalamualaikum. may peace be upon u. :)

teehee. actually i've only return home after spending 3 hours at laptop service shop. somewhere at jatinangor. honestly, it was quite wasteful to wait for 3 hours & do nothing. luckily, i brought with me a book authored by Salim A. fillah, 'agar bidadari cemburu padamu'. and then after the long 3 hours has passed, alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, my lappy can be use again, good as new. :D

nahh. i wasn't going to tell u about this. i want to share with u this song. it was a beautiful song, and meaningful and deep. and i love it.

i spend most of my time in 'angkot' hearing this. it's suited my heart perfectly as i am all alone, and there is no one beside me. and i was looking outside of the angkot window. i was looking up as the angkot continue going forward. the cloud was a bit dark and rain started pouring down. wind was blowing sweetly on my face. and the calmness i felt was priceless. all i can say it was beautiful, too beautiful. :').

terbayang ga? indah kan!

kesekian kali 
kini ku berdiri
tulus hati di hadapanmu
masih terus merayu
dengarkan aku

jalan yang berliku
sepanjang hayatmu
aku juga merasainya
lantas aku mengerti
dan memahami

lihatlah ke dalam hatimu
percikan cahaya yang akan membara
menjadi penerang segala yang di depanmu

lihatlah jua ke hatiku
akulah temanmu
terimalah aku
kitakan bersama mengharung dunia fana ini...

kesekian kali 
ku ulangi lagi
tidak kan pudar keyakinanku
yang kau akan berdiri atas kemucak
tinggi..

pst : i want to dedicate this song to everybody, expecially to all my friends. no matter where we are, i pray to Allah everyday that when the time come, we'll meet again at jannah. subhanallah :').

k.h.i

i've been dragged down and i fall. i put on my courage and get up. i've been dragged again and i felt down, deeper. i woke up slowly and i try making some steps. i fall again.
yes it was painful
yes i was badly injured.
but i believe there'll be hikmah behind. i'll get the big picture after.

:'). but for now and forever, alhamdulillah.

chaos.

yeah. i'll tell ya. it is a big challenge for me. i feel rather awkward. for every movements & every talk & every stare. personally i do think this is a good starting point. to stop what hasn't been built, for turning over a new leaf, to wash away all these inappropriate thinking. i asked somebody 'did my face change?'. cause i felt deep inside it was chaotic, it's like all my facial muscles are aching and tingling as i curving a smile. i knew there are something good in every day. to count the blessings are countless'. i knew what i probably said wasn't even a challenge for some ppl. it is just one phase of life that when you meet with it, you hv to bear with it. i knew this long before. i wasn't as tough as one could think of. i am weak & fragile. oh Allah. let me not take this as things that will stop me, or trying to be something i don't wanna be. this is a test, i should have passed it easily. haven't i said i'll look more than anythingelse upon habluminallah compare to habluminannas (if i've to choose)?.yeah. i am deeply ashamed, how am i suppose to think of these as big when my brothers and sisters in rohingya, syria, gaza in fact anywhere are being killed, raped and bombed up? astaghfirullahaladzim.

i'm not sure if this is the hormones problem or anything.oh Allah forgive me for all this insignificant thinking. make me stronger so that i could leave insignificant things that i shouldn't be concern of behind. put on a better calming smile on my face. help me, guide me, guard me on my journey so that everyday i'm turning into a better muslimah. ameen.

‘From the good manners of Islam is to  

leave that which does not concern him.’ 

[Al-Tirmidhi] 

rubbish.

this has to stop.
my feeling my hatred & my expectation.
i think i'm standing on the red line.

oh i feel like crying.

hijrah.

it had been so long since my last time writing here.
it is maal hijrah today.
salam maal hijrah^^.

azam tahun baru ni nak lebih byk mengamalkan sunnah Rasulullah yg simple2 mcm minum madu, bersugi & sebaginye. yosshhh. gambatte ne~ :)

it may seem unfair, but it has been perfectly calculated by Him. :')

i have so much to say before. now that i've prayed. i felt relieved. so i have nothing to say now.

i believe Allah will give the best for me and do the rest.

:)

-nadwa-

“Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.”
( Al-Baqarah : 216)

untitled v

i have that kind of attitude. i've higher expectation on myself. most of the time, i give my all on something. eventhough it didn't look like it also.

actually i've gotten my soca result just now. yes, it wasn't excellent but yet not bad. it was 78. and after all, i should be grateful of what i've gotten. yet i come into that room, with a broad feeling, and hearing the comments from dr bony and dr fifi, i realise that i am far from my target. and my eyes start to tear up. there was that kind of feeling when i thought so much 'did i fail?'. it was such a long comments.

"nadwa, i'll believe you read many things but you have to learn to prioritize things. moreover, you only have 20 minutes after all. you couldn't fit 20 minutes with every knowledge u''ve learn to tell us in this short time.."
-dr bony-

that was one i remember so much. return home, i was confused and yet grateful, but still my eyes were teary. i walk alone, make 2 to 3 times wrong turn, with tears flowing. i don't even know why. it wasn't like i'm not grateful, i'm just put things back on place where it should be. and i was as fragile as glass. because i've this kind of habit, in which when i'm giving my best and my all, and i didn't accomplish what i've expected, or wished, or hope, not that i'm not grateful, my heart can easily mended.

i laughed just now. knowing i was taking soca as the end of the world matter. it wasn't the same feeling as when i get B's on soca before. because during that time, i've reach my limit. it is absolutely different feeling when i've fail crp before. at that time it fires me up to work even harder in crp.

and then when i was just sitting and do nothing, i felt something touch my litttle heart. it was like wind, calm but powerful enough, it makes me realise how stupid i was to have that kind of thought, that kind of sadness.i am watching something in just one point of view, so i'm missing the big picture.

yes, i'm missing the big picture. astaghfirullahaladzim. :(

indeed

i am truely grateful this didn't last long.oh Allah, i am truely grateful for each and everything u've given for i knew it is the best for me. i might not known the hikmah now, but i believe i will later. oh Allah, pls continue pouring your unconditional everlasting love to us, just like before, forever, in dunya and hereafter. oh Allah please forgive me for this irrational mind, i am shameful enough to have this thought. astaghfirullahalzim. oh Allah thank you for putting my heart back together and make me realize the beauty of patience. oh Allah, i'm grateful for everything.alhamdulillah. :').

'...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' (Surah Baqarah: 216)

if there is no words to define, sing it.

it is nearly exam time.
i almost forgot about this. this is made by me, both the lyrics and the rhythm (also the chord).
it had been so long since the last time i played it. and then just now i played it again.
amazingly, i still remember the rhythms.

intro:

look upon the sky
the cloud was hiding the sun
and rainbows won't define
nor rain would do
just like the calm wind that blows into the dream
it lies too and froth
and it goes on and off

bridge:
if i have to wait under the falling beads of rains i will do 
if i was destined to meet you in this circle point
i'll meet you

chorus:
cause in the end
we'll never know 
if the word is true
and fairy tale 
in my canvas life
there's part of you.

intro & verse  : C*, Am, Dm, G

chorus           : Bm, E, Am, Em, G
                       Bm, E, Am, Em, D

*end with C*

fav.

this is not her best cover. some claimed it as out of tuned but i still think she has the skill. 

wish i could play like her, someday. 

pst:  i found that epiphone so tempting --". bapak, my birthday, PERHAPS? :P

        good nite :)

yesterday.

Terkadang mahu menitis airmata bila terkenang kejahilan semalam.
Terkadang seakan dicarik carik rasa hati bila teringatkan lemahnya iman.
Terkadang jiwa diasak kekesalan bila difikirkan kesalahan demi kesalahan.
Semuanya tentang semalam yang telah berlalu.
Lalu bangunlah wahai jiwa, dan janganlah terus layu.
Agar esok tiada lagi kekesalan seperti hari hari terdahulu. :')
-copied-

Orang yang baik baik ni kan, kalaupun sekadar biasa biasa tapi selalu sukaaaa je nak tengok. Selalu bersih je bila ditenung. Selalu rasa nak intai banyak kali!
Alahaaaaai~
-copied juge-

so true :).
awak sgt comel dear sahabat. semoga berjiran iA di syurga nanti :').

nota hari ini:

1. siapa yang menjaga pandangannya akan diberi kemantapan jiwa - Sayidina Umar Al Khattab.

2. perlu jage ikhtilat! perlu! perlu! perlu!

3. jagela diri dari segala fitnah akhir zaman.

4. hablumininallah comes first and others (dunia) will follow, IA:)

another imperfection.

somehow, i felt like i've been taking for granted for everything that i've received
i've been lost for a moment to dunya in the middle of my findings. 
havent i said habluminallah is the most important of all? *sigh*
sorry if i've been treating any of you like trash. despite the fact that i'm aware of the importance and sweetness of ukhuwwah
i've been taking for granted all the love and appreciation given.
sorry, from the bottom of my heart.


it had been so long since the last time i cried. i missed crying. i cry tonight because i don't hv reason to cry. 
oh my Lord, pls forgive me. 




this imperfection i've potrayed
i'll try to fix it bit by bit. insyaAllah.

like rain.

like rain, it fall and stop. and fall again.

she stand outside the circle

but still she watch inside it

there were laugh and tears.

and it was all.. beautiful. from her eyes.

and then when she didn't even realise

she was hoping

on something that wasn't true

something unclear

she got to put an end into it

but she could just stand outside the circle

she want to move out, farther.

further away from the circle but it was too beautiful that it can barely hurt her eyes.

still, she stand there watching

she spend some times

just to stand there, and watch. and not even a move she took.

there were rains and there was sun

there were winds blowing yet she stay undone

and then she realise she should not just stand outside

either to be in it or just leave it

and when she was comfortable she move into the circle

and then she realise the ugliest fact

in which whether she was there or not it will never make any difference

even if she was inside,

nor outside

it will always stay the same. 

she wasn't hurt yet she felt relieved

somehow the ugliest fact was the most beautiful path she gain 

knowing she should know it long time ago

the ugliest fact that kept her smiling

thinking how it should be done long before

and after all 

it was just like rain

it fall down.

sometimes too heavy that get one heart's cold

sometimes those downpour falling beautifully, bring calms & serene

and at one time.

 it will stop falling.

and probably will fall again. when the time meet.

understand.

so why don't we go

somewhere only we know?

impending doom.

how could i put this in words. it is still 'disenchanted'.
today wasn't really a good day but there is always something good in everyday
the thing is i couldn't escape from this littleless mind thinking
how i wish i could think things lightly and takes everything as one phase of my life that will happen. and go. and repeat.
and everybody did feel it. not just me.
how i thought it was awesome when they can just forget and move on
say, i can move on but right now, this littleless thing has been bugging off my mind
at least for some 1-2 days.
some said it is because i have higher. higher expectation on myself.
i don't think it is wrong, since i'll work harder to achieve something
just that things are getting a little bit messy when i've this excessive overthinking

imagine there is a dark cloud on top of your head right now. that is how i feel.

it's like when things aren't going as what i've planned, eventhough i gave my all to it

i can't help myself from my own feelings. the feeling of impending doom (if you know what i mean)

it's not that i don't accept. i just kept thinking about it over and over again

and i get tired of myself thinking about such a little insignificant thing

i have this problem of exagerrating something so small

and things get heavier inside my head

when i was writing these, i've already got the answer, bright & clear

i was way too far from Him, for i've made smaller dunya things a big deal in my heart

which is actually a no-no thing(s) to do

so for the dark cloud on top of my head

the answer lies on Him.

with Him, anything is possible. 

i might fail to chase away the dark cloud on top pf my head,

but i might use an umbrella to protect myself from it and also, change my point of view when looking at it. 

shape of my heart.

past two. blues-in-the-valley.

what was on the look isn't the same as what's inside.
i've already knew expectation kills. most. of. the. time.
i just wish it to be different.
i thought it was going to be different.
and all along the way i knew expectation(s) kill. 
i've thought  a bit too far.
and i brought myself to hear this song . on and off.  too and fro. 
back and forth. 

you're just a sad song
with nothing to say
about  a life long
wait for a hospital stay
well if you think that i'm wrong
this never meant nothing to you.
(mcr-disenchanted)

disenchanted

.


 though i din't really know what gerard wants to deliver from his song, i interpret it as mine. and it suits you.

so this is for you. 

chasing cars.

something
we don't talk about
rather do without
just hold  the smile.

unjustifikasi.

kadangkala, kita rasa iman kita menggunung, waktu tu kita rasa sangat baik. sgt hadir dlm setiap solat2, sangat baik percakapan kita. tak kurang juga ada masa kita rasa iman kita menjunam, waktu tu solat memang solat tapi entah hadir entah tidak, cakap pun kotor dan tidak bermanfaat. ada masa kita rasa macam kita baik sangat, ada masa kita rasa sangat teruk dan jahat. itulah fitrah. sebab iman itu turun naik, boleh bertambah, boleh juga berkurang. sebab kita bukan maksum, kita tak sempurna, sebab tu kita kena bergerak sentiasa ke arah kesempurnaan itu. sebab Allah pandang usaha, kan? :)

hujung-hujung ramadhan ni, mudah sahaja aku duduk dia atas sejadah, lapang sahaja masa aku untuk Dia. mungkin sbb tiada musuh yang satu tu, yang menghambat aku setiap hari, terasa lapang dada. yang hanya tinggal adalah nafsu. namun begitu, entah berjaya entah tidak institusi ramadhan tahun ni, resultnya cuma dapat dilihat apabila berakhir ramadhan nanti. nantilah. akan aku justifikasi sendiri. cuma kadang-kala, acapkali aku kalah juga kepada nafsu. perempuan, 1 akal dan 9 nafsu. yang paling susah nak lari bagi aku, adalah nafsu lidah itu sendiri. kan?

astaghfirullahaladzim..

*pekup muka*. lidah itu walau tidak bertulang, tajamnya lebih dari pedang. dan bagi aku, entah sejak bila kadang kala aku mengabaikan lidah ini. lancar sahaja mulut ini mengeluarkan kata-kata yang tidak enak. sedang Allah sudah berpesan;

"celakalah bagi setiap pengumpat dan pencela.."-(104 :1)

"sesungguhnya pembicaraan rahasia itu (termasuk) perbuatan setan, agar orang beriman bersedih hati, sedang (pembicaraan) itu tidaklah memberi bencana sedikit pun kepada mereka, kecuali dengan izin Allah. dan kepada Allah hendaknya orang-orang yang beriman bertawakkal"- (58:10)

mudah sahaja aku tunduk pada nafsu yang satu itu, sedang musuh terbesar itu sudah tiada, maka terang jelas dan nyatalah amarah yang memang ada dalam jiwa, yang mengheret aku ke landasan itu. astaghfirullahaladzim. ya Tuhanku, andai memang aku tidak punya hati, kurniakanlah aku hati yang baru.

"sungguh beruntung orang yang menyucikan (jiwa itu),

dan sungguh rugi orang yang mengotorinya"

(91: 9-10)

masih aku menegaskan pada hati hanya redha Allah yang dicari. aku tahu yang paling kita nampak sekarang adalah habluminannas, hubungan sesama manusia.sedang habluminallah itu lebih penting dari segalanya. tetapi    hati kadang kala degil, kerana kita selalu selesa dengan apa yang di hadapan mata. padahal semua tahu yang kehidupan di dunia ni hanyalah sementara, kehidupan Akhirat itu yang kekal abadi. prioriti tetap prioriti. ya Tuhanku, masukkanlah aku dalam golongan yang asing itu, kerana andai aku termasuk dlm golongan yang asing itu, aku sudah menepati ramalan hadis Rasulullah. dunia perlu ditepis oleh hati seperti span yang resilience, bukan diserap semahu-mahunya.

"dan sungguh yang kemudian itu lebih baik bagimu daripada permulaan.."-(93:4)

ya Tuhanku, ramadhan yang bersisa ini, biarkan hati ini tetap utuh teguh di jalanmu, andai bengkok luruskan, andai gelap, terangkan, andai tidak pasti, jelaskan. kerana aku hanyalah hambaMu yang penuh khilaf, tertatih tatih mencariMu. maka ya Rahman ya Rahim, bulan yang penuh mulia ini, kau bersihkanlah hatiku, hilangkan segala penyakit yang ada di dalam hati ini. ameen..

revealed

i'm gonna hit the note, w.e.l.l.

and press the red button 

so that the truth will reveal

so that u'll be alarmed. i am concern tho.

and afterall, i got to know the true colors

so be prepared.

a sneaky push and pull might help

like a dagger, i'll throw the rambo knife

not to hurt

just to get a little bit of thinking here.
sorry if this is going to hurt you, by any chance. not today. maybe tomorrow.

i'm making 9 gag face now. 

cool.

i love this music video, except for certain unnecessary things.

i prefer  the mv more compare to the song ^_^

just click here. in case u want to watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZh5mI7uHKM

good olden days.

i miss the subh star
the one that shone brightly on the west
sparkling without dims and amazingly, it was right there, at the same place, everytime we went to as-salam for subh prayer
it was one of a kind
probably the star is dead by now
it was so huge that i thought i can just reach for it by hand

i miss the rain
the rain hasn't fallen here in bandung, quite a long time
i love everything about rain. the smell, the dropping sound of rain
beads by beads
flawless and peaceful
it was my natural mind therapy.
for me, rain is uncinditional special gift from Him
subhanallah :')

i miss the sunrise 
it'll be good to watch the sunrise, and take in the morning breeze
looking at the paddy field just behind our house
and a light jog and exercise would be better than nice
while waiting for the sun to come out
those precious time in pangalengan
when we watch the sunrise together will never be forgotten
if i could repeat the time, i would

i miss painting the gorgeous night sky fulled with stars
i miss the view on top of hill during morning 
i miss the beautiful sunset fall down with orange and red colours mixed together

those days are as good as it is
just like a cup of hot coffee  
it is filled with warmth and cozy feeling...

those good times playing UNO. :')

sad. is a must!

hakikatnya dengan berasa sedih itu berjaya membawa kita kepada Allah :')

jadi di suatu masa di Akhirat kelak, akan kita bersyukur dgn kesedihan itu.

alhamdulillah.

i am happy with this sadness:)

Allah lukis bintang byk sgt subuh tadi, so sweet:). hilang sedih tadi. alhamdulillah...

that beautiful ramadhan is coming..

the beautiful ramadhan is coming
the ramadhan i was waiting and miss so much
the ramadhan i said to myself
that this ramadhan will never leave just like that
every second and minutes should be appreciated
and filled with every love and tears
towards Him
and only Him.



Allahu Allah :')

faculties of medicine, UNPAD. dear Allah, may this ramadhan is filled with barakah to all of us. ameenn.

part of me. and you too :).

what more could words be? 

soul and light

“Part of the perfection of one’s faith is his leaving that which does not concern him.” – Prophet Muhammad (as reported in Tirmidhi)

It will keep hurting you, until you let go and there remains nothing in the heart but Him.
Once that happens you will no longer love for your own sake. Everything you want, love, or hate will be for, through and by Him.

- Yasmin Mogahed

Allahu Allah :')

i am XX, not XY

Humans are humans. they are prone to make mistakes. they're vulnerable to make lots of mistakes. but what really counts is whether they're learn a lesson or not after every mistake, made.


so you see. it's not my first time making mistakes. honestly i don't think making mistakes is something that is forbidden.it's a process of reaching maturity, and a process of finding who and what we are. but what i'm trying to highlight here is how we react to those mistakes. some people would be dragged down to the bottom of the world just because of one inappropriate step and path she/he has choosed. sometimes, it wasn't that biggie deal, but we tend to think about it over and over again and we're the one whom dragged ourselves to that level of inferiority.


in a nutshell, positive thinking is a must here. to be a successful and great moslem. and also to be a better man both in every aspects of life and ofcourse, hereafter. and so that we'll take everything in this world as a chance to improve ourselves.


final words. If you feel that you're very down. Just close your eyes and say, 
"This is my journey. He puts me here. It's HIS plan. So, I have to carry on and trust HIM." Thank you Allah :').

la tahzan innallaha ma'ana :)

assalamualaikum.
berjalan-jalan menambah ilmu di pagi hari, terserempak dengan tulisan seorang senior yang cukup aku kagumi. meskipun kurang mengenalinya. huhu.

moga2 yang terbaca terase, kite same2 terase dan mendaki anak tangga itu memperkasa diri untuk mencari syurgaNya. peace :).

http://maxchempaka.blogspot.com/2012/07/wahai-anak-adam-jagalah-maruah-seorang_6549.html

unspoken

i'll hide. in between my shadows.
i was afraid of the unspoken truth
afraid it might waver again
afraid my decision was not rigid, and even a simple blow might ruin it,
i was running so hard before.
i don't want to run anymore.
i wasn't comfortable, i was stucked in this unpleasant position of mine.
i will not blame the star(s) for twinkling so fine and beautifully
it was me who let the glow's hurt my eyes.
but it will never get through my heart.
ever.
again.

i enjoy listening to bedroom sanctuary recently :). this bro is cool isn't he? ;)

pray,
if you want to talk to Allah.
read the Quran,
if you want Allah to talk to you.


oh Allah, it feels really empty inside.
i was too far, forgive all my sins. :')

adil.

ya Tuhanku, jadikan aku adil dalam menilai sesuatu, meletakkan segalanya pada tempatnya.
kerana aku risau
andai kata hati ini bukan membenci kemaksiatan
tetapi membenci sang pelakunya.
andai kata hati ini merelakan keburukan
dengan alasan sudah menjadi kebiasaan dunia hari ini
bencikan aku pada dosa, Tuhanku
dan bukan pada si pelakunya
tanamkan rasa sayang kepada saudara seagamaku
supaya kelak tidak aku dipersoalkan atas sesuatu
bukakan pintu-pintu hati kami
agar sentiasa mekar mewangi cinta kepadaMu
agar terarah segala-galanya padaMu
agar tidak lagi aku membenci atau merelakan sesuatu bukan pada tempatnya.


semoga Allah redha dan menjagamu.

kalaulah ada clorox hati super pantas untuk bersihkan hati yang hitam ni... T.T

she

26 june-10.36pm

"awak,boleh terangkan pada saya macam mana nak ikhlaskan hati hanya untuk mencari redha Allah semata. kerana sering kita tersepit di antara manusia?"


Wassalamun alaik sahabat syurga. 

Insya'Allah boleh je selagi kita mampu kita cuba sehabis baik.
Wa jangan risau okey.
Kita nak jadi macam Horatio.
I'll always be here biznillah. Hehe.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Kalau ada yang tersalah sepanjang bicara ini, moga Allah ampunkan dan tunjukkan jalan keluar yang lebih baik.
Aamiin.

Sahabatku sayang,
Apa yang bakal kita kongsikan adlh secara pndgn peribadi.
Jd mungkin akan ada byk kesilpan yang tak kena pada soalan.
Kita mohon maaf atas segala kekurangan.

Ikhlas adlh rahsia Allah yang lahir tnp dapat dilihat.
Ibarat angin, tak dapat dilihat tp sungguh datangnya mendamaikan menyejuk rasa.
Begitulah kedudukan ikhlas dalam hati.
Adkala kita rasakan bhw ini adlh Lillahi Taala, dan aku sudah mncuba seikhlas mungkin.
Namun ada ketika yg lain, akan ada rasa begitu dan begini sehingga menggugat keikhlasan kehambaan itu sndiri.
Memupuk rasa redha dan Lillahi Taala bukanlah hal yang dapat dibina sekelip mata tp percayalah.
Dengan usaha, takde yang sia sia.

Sahabatku sayang,
Bila kita nak tahu kita ikhlas ataupun tak, kita akan rasa tenang dengan apa yang kita buat.
Dan bila kita rasa kehilangan dengan apa yang kita buat, jiwa tetap akan tenang dengan pujukan dari hati, yang bawa kita untuk kembali pd Dia.
Bila ada rasa itu dlm hati, insya'Allah itulah ikhlas yang mendiami diri secara sembunyi. 

Lumrah bila kita lebih banyak memikirkan tentang apa yang bakal manusia fikirkan berbanding pndgn Allah.
Tahu sebabnya?
Kerana manusia dan kata katanya dpt dilihat dan dirasa secara zahirnya tapi pndgn Allah tak dapat dilihat dengan mata.
Tak dapat didengar dengan telinga. Kan? 

Wa jangan risau okey.
Hmpir kebanyakn org mengalami hal yang sama, dalam sedar ataupun di luar sedar.
Untuk masalah ni, mungkin Wa boleh cuba dengan buat benda yang Wa rasa betul, dan ikut gerak hati.
Tak salah menolak, tp insya'Allah bila betul cara kita, org yang menerima pun akan menerima dengan rasa yang betul.
Mksudnya macam bila Wa nak buat sesuatu tp tersepit antara manusia dan Pencipta, Wa tolak la prmintaan tu secara baik.
Na tak nafikan mungkin berat, tp Allah hitung setiap keringat.
Allah nilai setiap titis airmata. (:

Bila bila Wa rasa berat hati, dan rasa susah nak buat pilihan, Wa ambil nafas dalam dalam, dan Wa selawat banyak banyak.
Luaskan pandangan dan insya'Allah, Wa akan rasa lebih lega.
Cubala. (:

Wa, (:
Sahabat mungkin tak seerat talian darah, tapi matlamatnya tetap sama, untuk ke syurga.

*************************************************************************************************

Min fadhli Rabbi. Alhamdulillah syukur sangat. (:
Wa jangan risau okey.
At times, benda yang kita rasa macam tak berapa penting sangat nak ditanya tu lah sebenarnya yang paling byk kita fikirkan.
Bila bila Wa perlukan kita, datanglah lagi.
Mungkin tak dapat ada sekelip mata, tapi insya'Allah selalu ada. (:

Baik baik sahabat sayang.
Fi amanillah daiman~

semoga Allah merahmatimu sahabat. uhibbuki fillah :'). ur short message comfort me all way round. i'm glad Allah has sent me you and although we're far away, u'll always get my doa. 

i love you so much no words can tell.

i want you to complete half of my deen

this is extremely sweet.

assalamualaikum :)

i ask you to be true.

i used to like all mcr song. right now still.

i love songs with beautiful meanings and some kind of emotions and not just a plain stupid lyrics.

'that's why i hate malay mainstream song, it's awful and tangkap muat!' and indie song is better. at least they have their own direction in composing a song.

and my ear drugged right now is cancer, by mcr.

i'm still working on the chords since some are quite hard.most of it are barre chords which put a lot of strength on each verse played. but it was a beautiful song filled with emotions and meaningful lyrics, so i guess it's worth it. maybe sooner or later i'll post one of my song cover, just a plain boring acoustic version since i'll not sing and i'm not made for singing, and of course it is because it isn't permitted in islam :). no doubt.

here.one of my best moments captured and would not want to forget :)

cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...

indonesia love.

dear indonesialove,

the beads and glass

the pieces with almost the same glow

the same enchanting look

that sometimes or most of the times we failed to distinguish

often we regret. after things happen

cause only, after things had happened, then only we can see things clearly.

there is no way to regret, just take it as our life lessons.

those hurtful glass, throw it away, and keep on finding the right pearls.

and keep improving.

moving forward.

dear indonesialove,

 like my previous thinking you seems so small, and you'll vanish like a thin vapour. i guess i've suceed. 

alhamdulillah.